Huge Relapse

Once again I forayed into the realm of "how hard can it be" and was promptly smacked down by the humility god.  Sleep training is back to suckville.  I'm not sure how it happened....She fell asleep while nursing last night and when I was hardcore into sleep training, I was waking her up so she'd learn to put herself to sleep and not need me and my chest, but last night I thought it'd be fine to just lay her down like that. I suppose that was my first mistake.  She was screaming within seconds.  I have no idea what the next couple mistakes were but she screamed until 10:00.  Eric and I took turns attempting to patiently provide TLC and when the TLC ran out, we left her in there to scream alone.  I held a book in front of my face but stared intently at the video monitor and the clock.  When it got to 9 minutes I couldn't take it anymore. As much as I can't stand being near her when she's screaming, I can't stand being away from her either.  It's a lose-lose situation.  So I went in, scooped her up, and shushed her calm.  After a couple of minutes she arched off me and leaned toward her bed so I laid her down, she closed her eyes, and peace was finally ours.  This was after 2 hours of crying.

I had great hopes that tonight we'd be back on track. Her naps today were perfect in spacing and length, and we started bedtime a little earlier to keep on track.  She fell asleep nursing but I gently woke her then laid her down.  Quiet for maybe a minute, then screaming. Loudly and insanely. I scooped her up thinking she might need to burp.  Nope.  Fooled me once.  I laid her down and the screaming resumed.  I went to my log to make some notes and when I turned around she was in an extreme baby cobra and twisted around behind her clinging to the bumper pads as if she were trying to crawl toward me.  The look on her face was heart breaking so I scooped her up again.  I held her for a couple minutes like this (she quieted instantly upon being held) then she repeated last nights' gesture of arching toward her bed. I laid her down and all was good and quiet for a couple minutes. Her eyes were glassy and fluttering. I shushed and lulled and willed her to sleep.  Then out of nowhere, the flood gates broke lose and insanity spilled into the nursery once again.  I told her to cut it out and left. Eric was already up the stairs for the tag team.  He changed her (though she didn't need it) and snuggled her and then peaced out.  Now we're downstairs listening to our dear sweet screaming daughter and waiting for her to cry long enough that when we return to check on her, she will be so exhausted that she passes out much easily. If, by chance, she passes out on her own in the meantime, that would be great, but my hopes aren't that high.

Okay, time to watch a few more minutes of Funny People...we are watching it in installations.